The night before last, Ray came home from work and I told him that I did infact, need the vaccination. He seemed sad... then he said "Man, isn't it crazy that last Christmas we were hoping that we'd be able to tell everyone that we were pregnant, as a present, but it didn't happen? And here we are.. going to miss another Christmas."
Yep. Awesome.
Then I got to thinking about all the people who got pregnant after we started trying, and have already had their babies..
I realized that by the time we get to try again in January, it will have been almost enough time to have two babies. IF I get pregnant on #19 (doubtful).. I'd be due about this time next year.
I realize 4 cycles might not be much to some people, and maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion. But I'm allowing myself a few days to be mad as hell, depressed and hide if I want to. I realize that my previous post might have been uncalled for, but I was just angry.. and I want to be allowed time to be mad. Once it blows over, I'll try to think positively. I think I owe it to myself right now to grieve the loss of the next couple of months.
Consumption 17
1 day ago
8 comments:
Be mad. Yell, scream, cry, curse. I am mad for you!! Mike and I haven't been on a definitive break but knowing you need medical intervention and being told to try on your own is frustrating so I get what you are feeling.
I wish I could just throw you in my car and take you out for drinks and trouble making!
Hugs! I miss you bunches! I am here if you need me!
You have every right to be pissed off, angry, sad, frustrated...whatever it is you feel. 4 months is a very long time when you are TTC and want a baby more than anything. It just plain old fucking sucks. I'm sorry you have to go on this unwanted break. :(
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time honey. Just know that I'm always here for you.
Oh and you've been tagged. ;) Check out my blog.
I'm disappointed and pissed for you. Four months is for-ever when TTC is the topic.
By the way, you've been tagged.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. :-(
I'm tagging you too.
I'm so sorry hun :( I wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
Call me anytime you need me babe.
P.S. tagged.
I'm sorry about the shitty vaccination. That sucks. Also, I tagged you, too. You're popular. :)
Girl... I KNOW how you feel!!! We had to take a break for the MMR shot, then again (back to back) when my DH needed meds that cause birth defects.
IT SUCKS!!!!!
That being said..... afterwards the 3 months didn't seem that long, but when you are in it... a minute feels like an hour.
BE PISSED!!! I was. The "break" everyone talks about may have been nice... even though you aren't expexting your body to get pregnant, your heart and head are still in the race-they still want it.
::HUGS::
P.S. About Christmas- If I'm not KU by then, we aren't going. It's too painfull.
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