crizzap

The day I got my vaccination, (while receiving it, to be exact) the RN lets me know that this is actually #1 of 2 injections and that I'd need to get the next in a month. I broke down.. I started bawling. I think she felt really bad and started back peddling.

She said "Welll..this is what we'll do.. get your blood drawn 10/18 and if you got immunity from the one injection, we wont do the 2nd..but if you didn't get immunity, we'll need to do the 2nd.BUT, you can get the 2nd anytime. It doesn't have to be right away so maybe you can do a couple of rounds in between"{{riiiight, like it works like that. }}
Well, of course, I started freaking out and counting (irrationally) the months this would mean.. some how I got to 7 cycles of tta. I misunderstood her.

A few hours later via text, SP helped me to figure out that it actually only meant one more month than I was originally planning on. Still shitty, of course, but that's a hellova lot better than 7.

So. 10/18 I get my blood drawn. Let's pray that I received immunity.

TTA sex has been bizarre. This first time tta (using ::Ahem::: protection) SUCKED. I just cried and cried. I cried myself to sleep. It just didn't feel natural. It felt wrong and dirty. I couldn't explain what I was feeling other than it just felt like we were sinning. H and I didn't have sex before the wedding..so we maybe used a condom twice, ever.. I'm just not used to it.

There's been a few times since and it still feels wrong..I'm trying to get over it.

Every day is a struggle. It seems that every dept I work at, I'm the only person with no children.
I get to test urine for pregnancy. The first time I did a pg test and saw only one line, I just sank. I felt so awful. As if it was my BFN. Here she was, probably happy that it was negative and I'm standing in the lab so sad for her...or was I sad for me? It was so hard to turn that off.
I also got to draw blood on two girls that were getting the OB panel done..one was 16 and the other was 18. They looked so scared. One if them looked at me and asked if it was going to hurt. "It will just be a little pinch" {{OMG girl, do you have some growing up to do REAL quick}}

Next week I get to work in OB/GYN. ALL.WEEK. I'm really going to have to concentrate on turning this off. Talk about shitty timing. I don't even get to ttc and I have to work there. It's going to suck.

Change of topic-
We had the craft show and sold 3 purses and several hair clips. We made $100. Not bad for our first show. We got a great response from people, and got invited to be a vendor at two more local craft shows. I'm excited.

I also have nearly finished the ratty mansion. It is 6 feet tall, 5 stories and I forget how wide. I've got the holes cut in the shelving and now just have to add the fun toys and stuff.

Anyways- that's what's going on with me.

xoxo